Doctor Joke

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Police Joke

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

Father son Joke

"Dad, can you write in the dark?" "I think so. What is it you want me to write?" "Your name on this report card."

Lawyer Joke

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

Mathematician Joke

Why mathematicians are afraid drive a car? Because the width of the road is negligible comparing to its length.

Doctors JOke

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Teacher Joke

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

marriage joke

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.