Funny Jokes

that wanted to be a movie star. She traveled all the way to California and ran out of money. A friend suggested she go into the better neighborhoods and go door to door offering to work. She knocked on one door and told the young man that she needed money and would do anything for $100. The young fellow thought a moment and said: “I’ll tell you what. If you paint my porch, I will give you $100 when you finish.” The blonde agreed, the young man gave her a gallon of paint, and went back inside. About 30 minutes later, there is a knock on the door and the young man answers and finds the blonde standing there.”I’m all finished she said.” “You finished the entire porch already?”, the young man asked. “Yes” said the blonde. “But I have to tell you it is a Porsche, not a porch.”

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. “Here’s that $20 I owe you”

THINK, THINK, THINK……….

WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: “Definitely not!”

WIFE: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?”

HUSBAND: “Of course I do.”

WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?”

HUSBAND: “Okay, okay, I’d get married again.”

WIFE: “You would? (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: “Would you live in our house?”

HUSBAND: “Sure. It’s a great house.”

WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”

HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?”

WIFE: “Would you let her drive my car?”

HUSBAND: “Probably. It is almost new.”

WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?”

HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”

WIFE: “Would you give her my jewelry?”

HUSBAND: “No. I’m sure she’d want her own.”

WIFE: “Would you take her golfing with you?”

HUSBAND: “Yes. Those are always good times.”

WIFE: “Would she use my clubs?”

HUSBAND: “No. She’s left-handed.”

WIFE: – silence –

HUSBAND: ” . . . ohh #%*!!!!”