Funny Jokes

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this… ‘Looking for man with these qualifications; won’t beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.’

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.”

So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?”

Bob replies, “I rang the door bell didn’t I?”

A man walks in to a store, slams his hand on the counter and says,” i would like a kielbasa sandwich”.
the store owner replies”you MUST be polish ! ”
the first man is offended…..”why must i be polish, if i order speghetti am i italian? if i order a taco am i mexican ? if i order lo mein ,am i chinese ???”
“no ” replies the store owner.
“so why am i polish???????”
“Because THIS is a hardware store !!!”