Police Joke

July 30, 2007 — admin

The LAPD, FBI, and CIA are trying to prove that each of them is the best at apprehending criminals. Louis Freeh decides to submit them to a test. He releases a rabbit into the forest, and tells each agency to go and capture it.
The CIA goes in first. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After threemonths of extensive investigating, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in next. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it including the rabbit. They make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in last. They come out one hour later with a badly beaten bear which keeps yelling, “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

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Bad Temper

July 30, 2007 — admin

Patient: “Doc, you gotta help me. I’m under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people.”

Doctor: “Tell me about your problem.”

Patient: “I just did, you f$#%&g jackass!”

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Viagra Joke

July 30, 2007 — admin

A father is visiting his adult son and sees a little blue pill on the table, and aske whats this?

The son replies its viagra.

Father says I have heard of that mind if I try it?

Son says sure but they are $10.00 each.

Father says Ill pay you tomorrow.

Next day father hands son $100.00.

Son says dad I said they were $10.00.

Father says I know the other $90.0 is from your mother

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A Story around a cup of coffee

July 25, 2007 — admin

What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
 
 *The Englishman*: Throws away the cup of coffee and walks away.

 *The American*: Takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.

 *The Chinese*: Eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

 *The Japanese*: Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra.

 *The Israeli*: Sells the coffee to the American, the fly to the
Chinese, and buys himself a new cup of coffee.

 *The Palestinian*: Blames the Israeli for the violent act of
putting the fly In his coffee; asks the UN for aid; takes a
loan from the European Union
To buy a new cup of coffee; uses the money to purchase
explosives, Then blows up the coffee house, where: The
Englishman, the American,

The Chinese, and the Japanese are all trying to explain to the
Israeli that he was too aggressive .

 


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The Jewish Samurai

July 18, 2007 — admin

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.

A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces! The emperor says, “That is very impressive!”

Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces! The emperor says, “That is really impressive!”

Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Jewish samurai thinks, “If it works for the other two…” So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSSSHH. A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around. The emperor says in disappointment, “Why is the fly not dead?”

And the Jewish samurai replies, “If you look closely, you’ll see that the fly has been circumcised.”


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